Worse Nightmare

I’m listening to Taylor Swift song (White horse) while making this blog, but I won’t talk about my heartbroken story, It’s too painful and I don’t want to spoiling it. I’m not a princess and now it’s too late for him and his white horse to catch me. It’s hard to accept the best situation turned to worse nightmare all of sudden.Β 

I’m an extrovert and everything should be told and so I said everything I had to say and now I end up insomnia and I couldn’t sleep. What should I do with all this? What did I do to deserve all this? What’s my plan now? I’m upset and want to kill myself but again back to the reason I want to be better person and a woman that know her standard. In this case should I feel bad and hate myself because I forgive and keep doing it until I don’t know when just because I value something special for me.

Will it be the same if I did his mistake? Did I ever think to do that for revenge? No! I forgive because of Love and I want to keep myself safe and sound as much as I could. I only can sleep 2 hours and in my sleep I didn’t see myself sleeping but thinking and suddenly nightmare wakes me up. I’m sorry I hurt myself again. I love myself as much I want to keep doing it to make my family and friends happy around me.

Time is 5.32 am now and I realised I almost lost myself in my own fear. “Happy ending? Now I know…..” It took me forever to think accept all this emotion and I choose to keep going even it’s hurt and painful in the ass. I’m an adult and nothing should stop me for being good and do good to other people.

Oh wait! listening to “here I go again (Mammamia)” actually made me feel better lil bit not completely. Let’s be strong today. I know we all can do it πŸ™‚ Sending you Love..

 

Cheers,

ttd

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